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| Image credit: Photo by photographer padawan *(xava du) on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons |
I logged in to my e-mail tonight for the first time in a busy few days, capping a busy few weeks in which we've done everything from smash up my car (we are all fine, but it had to make a trip to the body shop to render it safely drivable again) to visit the ER (totally unrelated to the smashing of the car, but again everyone is fine) to host a party for my daughter's entire first grade class. If I could afford to go to a body shop for humans (otherwise known as a spa, I believe), I'd leave tomorrow. (And to think, I imagined things would be easier when summer was over and the kids went back to school.)
I turned on the computer tonight really wanting to write something, but at a loss for where to start. So I checked me e-mail and there it was: on a post of mine entitled "Finding God," a spam comment that read "Can you provide more information or how to go about doing this?" That tickled me. Can I provide more information on finding God? Why yes, in fact, yes I can. In fact, here's my simple three step formula:
Step 1: Take to self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, food, shopping or any self-destructive compulsive behavior of your choosing, or for all the God benefits without any of the hard work of becoming an addict yourself, simply marry someone who has.
Step 2: Hit bottom with a crash so resounding it throws you to your knees, shatters your entire life, makes you question the entire nature of reality and instills in you a desperate desire to do whatever it takes to change.
Step 3: Crawl around feeling your way through the darkness until you bump into God.*
* Consult with a spiritual professional before trying this at home. Following these steps may lead to unexpected results and a total loss of faith in God or an encounter with a grizzly bear instead. However, once you do find God, God tends to turn up everywhere, even in your e-mail inbox.
This post was originally published at The Second Road.
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