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Sunday, August 2, 2009

My God Is









ReachingSun
Image credit: Photo by
jam343 on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

When I first started blogging, a little over two years ago, "God" was not part of my spirituality.  The word still smacked of the old school God of my youth: that wrathful, angry-looking old white guy on the Sistine Chapel roof.  I was hated that image of God so furiously, that not only did I not believe it was possible for him to be in charge of the universe, I couldn't even stand to use the word "God," lest people think I was somehow in league with all the negative images it conjured up for me.

Still, I found, as my journey progressed, I did need a word to describe my spiritual center and God seemed to be a good one: an excellent, if potentially inaccurate, shorthand for what I was holding to and what was filling me up.  I took a step toward reclaiming God by purging that word of all I felt it was not, but I never did get around to saying what my God is to me.

In part I delayed writing it because my vision of God is always growing and changing, flickering in and out, hard to pin down.  But in part it's because, who can capture God?  Even one person's limited vision of God?  Wouldn't it be like offering up one snapshot of myself and calling it the whole of me?  Yet while a snapshot may capture only a fragment of one moment in time, it's still something and many snapshots together tell a kind of story, like the little snapshots that are my blog posts begin to fill out some rough outline of me.

So, for kicks, for posterity, for one little piece of the puzzle, to round things out a big more, here are some of the things my God is to me (today):

My God is an idea, a set of principles.

My God is evolution.  My God is physics.  My God is the scientific method.

My God is both the Buddhist truth of impermanence and science's truth of the first law of thermodynamics, which states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed.  Everything changes, yet the same energy continues in some new form.

My God exists like love exists, like beauty exists, like kindness and compassion exist.

My God is love and beauty and kindness and compassion.

My God is in all living things.  My God is the energy of life: the heart beating, the neurons firing, the breath.

My God is in the connection between people, between all living things.

My God is in starlight and bones and dog-earred pages.

My God is the voice inside me that knows what to say, the part of me that knows what is right.  And it does not matter to me how this happens or what causes it to be, only that it is.

My God is truth.  My God is my truth.

My God is my best writing: the dark, astonishing part of me the words come out of.  My God is in this blog, if not fully in this single post.
Posted by at 4:59 PM
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21 comments:

  1. I hear you, I understand you and your God resonates with me strongly, but unlike you I can't divest the word of its baggage. Well done for achieving it.

    I tend to use Gods, or goddess or universe or other random words. I always wanted to start my own religion - The Temple of the 2nd Law (of thermodynamics) but somehow Entropy wasn't a good name for god either. :)
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  2. This was a beautiful post, and I loved the ones you linked in it as well. It *is* so incredibly difficult to explain to people what I believe about God/HP, but I think you captured it just a little bit right here.
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  3. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5,6

    There is no other way for me to live than through Christ with whom all things are possible. We all experience adversity, heartache, trails and best of all victories. I loved your post on God....It's amazing how all paths lead to him...especially when our hearts are soften by the unexpected challenges in life. Sending you love and positive energy today!

    Carla
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  4. I really like this post. I, too, use the word "God" to describe my particular set of spiritual principles, but I'm finding that using that shorthand makes it so hard to communicate with other folks. I suppose it doesn't really matter whether or not people understand that my God is different from the God so many people have beef with, but sometimes I really want to attempt to control the situation and say, "Look, my God is not uncool and I'm not uncool, and don't you dare think I'm talking about that angry, judgmental God that [in your words, MPJ] will smite your ass."
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  6. I always goes back to a Christian phrase, "we are made in His image." So God exists in all of us. Even when we are at our most desperate, dirty, and unloveable--we are still right there "in His image." Wow.

    I'm pregnant now and there are days when I worry about my baby's health, about her chromosomes, about her nervous system, her heart, everything. And on those days all I can cling to is the certainty that she will be born "in His image", not mine and not my husbands--His. And I feel better.

    Beautiful post MPJ.
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  7. Great ideas. I find that the God of my understanding is many things as well.
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  9. Beautiful. And Buddhism's impermanence is precisely the same as scientific permanence: eternal change. Now that you've shed the confining image of God, you can shed the confinement of self-image and be truly divine.
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  10. My God is both the Buddhist truth of impermanence and science’s truth of the first law of thermodynamics, which states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Everything changes, yet the same energy continues in some new form.

    YES YES YES YES YES

    My Goddess teaches me that to balance on these two exact principles is to accept life for what it is and not what my expectations want it to be. This balance is crucial to my spirituality.

    have I told you lately that I love you?

    I do.
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  11. I understand you.

    Have you read Krista Tippett's SPEAKING OF FAITH? I love that book and gives so much food for thought....much like her radio show of the same name.
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  12. Yep, your God sounds kinda awesome.
    Thanks for putting words to your understanding of Him/Her/'That' today. It's one of my favorite parts of recovery so far-- putting a description to the God I think I have, rather than the pissed off one I believed in while growing up.
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  13. I'm glad we're on this journey together. You've been with me as I've come to believe, going from praying to the God of my lack of understanding to the God of my ever evolving understanding. Thanks for sharing. MUAH!!!!!!!!!
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  14. I often need reminders that people who believe in God are not all judgmental narrow-minded people. Thanks for expressing your ideas and being awesome.
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  15. I'm still working on the terminology. Not quite up to calling it God yet, but I appreciated your post a lot. Thanks.
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  16. Ah this was good. I think I should do so much work as you clearly have as to define what my idea of a higher power or my god is to me...

    Impressive. Your thoughtfulness shows through on the topic.
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  17. Thinking of you, missing your voice, and completely understanding that summers with children do not provide the best writing environment. The flip side is that school days do not provide the best environment for blowing bubbles, following ducks about in the park, and counting ladybugs. Enjoy the day you're in.

    Muah!
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  18. Just wanted to drop a note and say that I'm thinking of you. Hope you and yours are well. Sending hugs!
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  19. Missing you as well and just had to come over and tell you that.
    I do hope all is okay.
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  20. Hello, I have stumbled upon your blog via other bloggers and I am learning about SA. Your blog really is wonderful as you share so many personal and intimate details of your life. I used to be drug addicted in my twenties and thirties, and never considered sex to be an addiction. I am now 42, and I realize that everyone, most people seem to have some "thing" or vice. Shopping, sex, etc. This post about God hit home with me. God is so many things to me. It is the sun rising in the early am over the lake. It is when my dog licks my tears. When I able to make an elderly couple laugh as I wait on their table. That is all God. Anything that is joyful and beautiful. I really enjoy your writing. Just started from the beginning and working my way to the present. Be well and healthy, mentally and spiritually and physically.
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