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Monday, October 27, 2008

Parenting Is Not Child's Play

Before I had kids, I loved playing. At age 30, I owned a wide array of board games as well as a vast nerdly display of toys -- an X-Files Scully Barbie and Mulder Ken, Star Wars action figures, a poseable Godzilla and several favorite stuffed animals. I played regularly with my friends, and I was fully intending to have a rip roaring good time playing with my kids.

Then the real kids actually showed up. And not only are my kids not like the kids you see on TV, they're not like the clearly distorted memories I have of myself as a child. (I'm pretty sure I used to be a dream to play with.)

My children and I don't play well together. I've been banned from playing Star Wars with Janie because I "don't do the voices right." I can't play dinosaurs because I am not allowed to roar, and I get bored making the T-Rex play "Duck, Duck, Goose" without eating anyone. I'm not allowed to win at board games, if I get close, Austen changes the rules or reshuffles the cards or rolls the dice until they come up right. I'm regarded as nothing more than slave labor when it comes to Legos; I'm just a pair of dexterous hands that can carry out building plans. My creativity is frowned upon in all arenas. I strongly suspect that my children would prefer some animatronic likeness of me: a mom-like robot who would sit and watch them endlessly until called upon to make funny noises or dance or build Lego structures or lose a game in exact accordance with their instructions.

But even beyond my inability to play well, I find that I'm not as fond of toys and games as I used to be. The insteps of my feet bear the scars of run-ins with Legos, Playmobile people, Perfection pieces, Battleship pegs and any of the other hundreds of tiny pieces of plastic that litter the floor at any given moment. Toys have become the enemies of my serenity. And it seems the very items I most want to abandon in front of Goodwill (or regift to some parent I'm less fond of) are the very toys my kids can not get enough of.

Early on in my parenting excitement, I bought my children some of the things I wished I had as a child, like the game Mousetrap. Oh, how I coveted that game as a child, with its cool gears and cleverly cascading series of actions. My parents never bought it for me! Can you believe the injustice? I couldn't. So I bought it for my kids. And I found that it is an awful, awful game. There is really no point to it except the cool contraption, so it's really more a toy than a game. And it is a toy with a thousand parts, many of them painfully pointy and easily breakable should you step on them. A year ago enough of the parts were broken beyond repair that I threw the game out. I even threw out the plastic mice, which the kids liked to play with independently, so that no memory of that horror would ever remain.

My kids seemed to forget it for a time: that is, until my son received a computer version of several board games (including Mousetrap) as a gift. Mousetrap on the computer is a mixed blessing: on the one hand, you are assaulted with an endless musical accompaniment and you don't actually get to build the cool contraption, but on the other, there are no plastic parts to lose or step on. Of course, playing the computer game led Austen to start angling for a replacement version of the board game, and this weekend someone (Not me. Oh, believe me, not me.) got it for him.

This afternoon, the kids played with it for an hour, trapping mice with musical accompaniment by Austen, who happily hummed the endless tune from the computer version. They giggled and shrieked and built away, pausing just once to get my assistance to rescue one of the balls that rolled under the sofa. Then Janie took the mice off on an adventure around the house, and it's uncertain whether they'll ever return to the box again. Apparently, I'm too old to play anymore, but fortunately, there are two people in the house who are just the right age and have each other.

13 comments:

  1. We own so many toys masquerading as board games with bits missing or broken. Mousetrap, Hungry Hippos, Battleship (though I found a ship in the garden recently and I think the set is complete again for the moment), the list goes on. I never did have the fortitude to play any of those games under kid's rules, my nerves couldn't take it lol

    The kids are getting old enough now that we are starting to introduce them to things such as Talisman, Munchkins and D&D. Fun for everyone :)
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  2. Sounds wonderfully blissful to me, all that childish playfulness.

    Of course, I'm forgetting about the part where the arguments starts.
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  3. I used to play with the boys all the time - I taight them how to play chess fairly well and once they began beating me I hung up my players seat. We have played online games together where we had to hack and slay baddies to get gold or trasure or a guild and we have played baord games together. But I get the most joy out of watching my boys play together. They still will on ocassion log into an online game and team up against the forces of evil and I will stand in the background and cheer them on.

    It is what I think Mom's are really good at anyhow.

    Cat
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  4. Your writing makes my inner child want to come out and play. I still have many of my childhood toys. My mother kept them.
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  5. Sophie in the MoonlightOct 28, 2008 02:15 AM
    I see your Perfection pieces and I raise you Bionicles parts. Horribly hobbling when stepped upon in the middle of the night. I have not yet been able to figure out how to step on them without swearing profusely and then having to deal with the seven-year old's, "MOM! You said a bad word!!" "Yeah, and I'm about to say another one if you don't pick these up."
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  6. ohhhh how i love this post. i'm pretty sure you and i were the loveliest, most precious and well-mannered identical twins back in the day.

    when we moved to nebraska a couple years ago, the only loss on our cross-country eneavor wasn't my great grandmothers dishes she brought over from Germany, but instead, my extensive collection of spiderman memorabilia.

    going 60 miles an hour on a highway with no shoulder didn't merit an abrupt stop & recover mission. i consoled myself with the notion that when we unloaded this trailer load, my box would still be there.

    alas, no. :( i think that was the day that the kid in me threw up.

    'never as good as the good ol days, mm?
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  7. This made me smile. I am already having the same problem with my two year old. He refuses to let me build anything with the blocks. He would rather have them scattered around on the floor. Last night he banished me from the room because he was having more fun playing with Daddy.
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  8. Ahhhh, I was the queen of play once upon a time. The oldest of 4 with your typical basement turned into a virtual toystore. We had everything and I loved playing it all. As I got older, I was the adult the kids would come find because I would play with them. Even my kids' friends seek me out.

    Now that I have my own, I just want my time and space. I don't want stuff on my floor. I thought I would be an awesome stay at home mom - maybe even a homeschooler. I forced my siblings to play school (with my parents' full support - they bought the workbooks) everyday after school. Now I am dying for them to be in kindergarten. And I am left wondering why something that used to bring me such joy is now a chore. I suspect is has to do with not being the center of the cuteness and adoration. I suspect that it is because I know the Mousetrap game sucks after spending a day with my little brother trying to put the thing together.

    Conversely husband was the last of 4 (who are 15 years older than he). He was raised as an only child so has no clue what it means to live in a garbage heap of broken toy parts. He starts a daily fight about my not keeping up with the toys. "Why do we have them?" he asks. "People give them to us, the kids like them", I reply. I bring up the hookers - maybe I'd be inspired to play and clean if I weren't so depressed. Either way it's an ugly scene.
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  9. Addicted RantingsOct 28, 2008 09:58 AM
    I still play Twister, NAKED!
    ...by myself :(
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  10. Having kids has made me realize I didn't really want those things I thought I wanted as a kid. My son doesn't appreciate my creativity when it comes to him, but if I'm doing something on my own he's happy about it. Usually when I make a picture he then demands I make one for him too. If it is a picture I don't want to do twice, I don't let him see it.
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  11. Um how bad is it that I prefer the computer games to pieces all over the house???

    Mouse Trap was fun when I was younger though...may have to think about that one!
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  12. Oh the humanity of it all, the painful memories of Lego's embedded in the nite. Going to the bathroom, half awake stepping on any one of those things, I am still in therapy, lol!
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  13. I know what you mean about not being able to play in the right way. M gets frustrated in that sense as well. She wants everyone to follow her story lines and that can get very old.

    I had Mouse Trap as a kid and figured out quickly that the game sucked. It was always falling apart. It must look cool enough that kids keep on asking for it!
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