This weekend, my husband and I were working through a stressful situation in our extended family: "I need to give this up," Mark said, "I'm trusting in my higher power, and I need to remember that other people have higher powers they can trust in too." "Damn," I said, "you're right, but I always forget that. I really need to get a tattoo that says 'Let go and let God.'"
Mark's eyes twinkled and he replied, "And I should get one that says 'Let go and let Mary.'"
That made me laugh, of course, but all the more so because I would seriously love and hate it if my husband got that tattoo. Isn't that what we crave and resent in codependency? We crave the power of a god to take care of things and we resent the responsibility of carrying the weight of the world. In recovery we can learn the relief of letting go of that weight, while learning to live with the deep disappointment of not being gods.
This post originally published atThe Second Roadon August 12, 2008.
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