In my adventures around the Internet, I've discovered the existence of several stalwart individuals who believe that codependency along with so-called behavioral addictions (like sex, food, shopping, video gaming or gambling) simply don't exist. Now, sure, I'd met people before who would (reasonably, it seemed at the time) point out that many of these conditions are not listed in the DSM and would then argue that such "addictions" were better classified as manifestations of an obsessive compulsive disorder or other condition. So, it wasn't that these behaviors weren't a problem, but that (because no one really understands the brain fully) it wasn't clear what types of problems they were or how best to handle them. But it was a revelation to find people who seem to believe that all variations of these behaviors were healthy. And thank God I did find them, because it has changed my life.I've learned that normal, healthy, human things -- like taking care of others, having sex, eating or playing -- have been pathologized by a vast conspiracy that includes mental health and self help "professionals" and religious institutions. These greedy and evil minions of psychology and religion are bent on tricking me into believing I have a problem so they can convert me and take my hard earned money to "cure" me. These charlatans have created social constructs to make me feel guilty and sick for my totally normal and healthy obsessive caretaking behavior. They've made my husband feel guilty and sick for the totally normal and healthy behavior of sharing streaming Internet video of himself masturbating. They've tricked me into believing that I should be angry about his normal and healthy behavior rather than embracing his sexual freedom of expression with him like a normal person would. (And forget about addiction and codependency, for crying out loud, those same therapists quacks and religious freaks have even forced the poor folks at NAMBLA to live in oppression just because of their total normal and healthy desire to sodomize children.)
I can't believe I've been so blind. Really. Why didn't I see it before? How had I become so easily convinced -- simply from the existence of therapists I'd never talked to and self help books I'd never read and the church I'd rejected -- that behaviors like spending $3000 a month on porn or refusing to leave someone who beats you or living on the streets because you lost your house betting on football games might be, oh, I don't know, a little unhealthy: you know, something that someone might want to say, work on or change?
I can't believe that my self worth and self esteem, and that of my husband, were so very low -- that our self-images were so fragile and tenuous -- that our doubt in ourselves was so profound and easy to tap into -- that we could be duped and brainwashed into spending hours a week in 12 Step, time each day in meditation and thousands of dollars on therapy to change behavior that didn't need changing. Sure, we thought we were unhappy, but that's just because we didn't realize that our unhappiness was coming, not from any deep rooted personal problems, but from people so diabolical and powerful that they were willing and able to trick us into thinking we were unhappy so that they could take our money. Damn them!
Of course, since a normal, healthy person would just have laughed at those therapists rather than allowing themselves to be duped, I think I need to get to work on that problem with self-doubt that made me think I had a problem in the first place. Yep, it's time to call a therapist and get to work! I'll let you all know how it works out for me.
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