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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Letting Off Steam

Photo credit: Photo by
westy559 on Flickr

When my son becomes overwhelmed -- whether from the stress of a trip to the grocery store or simply from routine end-of-the-day hunger and tiredness -- he lets out a high pitched shriek. And usually not just one, he emits them periodically: sometimes one after another, very rapidly, or sometimes at longer intervals of about (yes, I'm a nerd, so I've been timing him) 30 to 40 seconds.

The other day, in intervals between shrieking, he explained to me what was going on, "I'm frustrated, so my brain is telling me to make this sound. When I make it, I feel better for a little while. Then, if I start feeling too frustrated again, my brain tells me to make the sound again."

I loved that he was able to explain what was going on, and he confirmed my suspicions: the shrieks are his way of releasing a build up of pressure and tension. He is truly my little teapot. Go ahead and listen for yourself:

Posted by at 12:00 AM
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22 comments:

  1. The J-man does the classic hand flapping, but he also runs around or even dances. You can tell when he has emotion overload.
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  2. Thats funny, sweet, lovely, and curious... i just heard a piece of you. wow.
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  3. Sophie in the MoonlightJun 26, 2008 01:18 AM
    Sweet Boy. I'm still in awe that he could take the time to explain to you why he needs to scream. THAT is a sign that he has a great relationship with his Mama. What outstanding emotional intelligence he has! And you so obviously adore him... Little Teapot (giggle giggle)

    As the mom of two sons, nothing makes me smile as much as a strong bond between a mother and her boy. This one made me smile BIG =)

    You two cuties are lucky to have each other.
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  4. that's a pretty loud screech! if it helps him then so be it!!
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  5. Sunshine MorningstarJun 26, 2008 02:16 AM
    That is so great that he was able to tell you his reasons! Has he been making this noise for years? You probably already suspected the reasoning but it's nice to hear it in his own words :)
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  6. What a smart, insightful kid! I wish I could do that. However, I live in an apartment building, so my neighbors would probably call the cops.
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  7. Stagnant ArtistJun 26, 2008 03:22 AM
    i want and do that on occasion myself.... it's usually an UGH!!! or growl.. but I am there with him!

    Great he knew what and why... so amazing
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  8. woman.anonymous7Jun 26, 2008 03:58 AM
    Like Sophie, I'm amazed that he can articulate what's happening so eloquently, and also feel joy at the beautiful relationship you've created together.

    I wonder what the rest of us would do if our responses to our feelings had not been drummed out of us by oppressive definitions of what is acceptable. I wish I could make that sound. It feels good just to listen to it.
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  9. I think that would scare the crap out of me- I would always think there was blood involved.

    It is great that he can express his actions like that!
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  10. I have found myself letting out something sort of like a groan/growl during times of stress. It sure does help. Good for him learning early how to manage it all.
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  12. Slutty McWhoreJun 26, 2008 05:55 AM
    Wow! I'm in awe of your parenting skills. When I'm tired, I get freaked out and grumpy when I hear loud, sudden, shrill noises, so it would be so hard for me to patient and calm if I had a child who made them all the time. I know that's selfish, I'm sorry! It's amazing that you are able to stay calm for your son and always take pains to interpret his behaviour.
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  13. How wonderful that he has such insight. And wow what a great scream.
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  14. I may have to try that myself.
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  15. Whoops, I had my computer plugged into a radio speaker and that really startled me!

    Just stopping by to say that I don't always comment but I read your blog regularly and enjoy it.
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  16. We should all be so lucky...
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  17. I am so impressed that he can explain it like that. I know plenty of adults (never mind children) who are not autistic and have way less awareness of how they deal with stress and why.
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  18. vicariousrisingJun 29, 2008 05:37 AM
    Did he know what he was frustrated about?

    Having an awareness about why you are acting out as you do is a terrific thing. When my husband was in his early twenties and he'd lash out, he would just say the "chemicals" (not drugs, just some amorphous alchemy that as far as he knew had no connection to any emotion like frustration) made him do it.
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  19. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Jun 29, 2008 05:53 AM
    Vicarious, I think he does have pretty good ability to articulate what he's frustrated about -- he's still learning, but I think he's clearer on it than other kids his age -- and than many adults.
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  20. That he was able to explain it is wonderful - it is quite the teapot sound!
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  21. Wow, I think that would kill me. I am very auditory. My JBean does some of the same, only when she is frustrated or mad. She shrieks and screams and cries. We call that a fit, and it makes my head feel like it is going to explode.

    I wish there were easy ways to teach our kids the things they need to do vs. what they need to not do. (did that make sense?) I mean, we teach and teach and teach...and sometimes it gets through. Other times?

    Autism is tough sometimes. I know you know

    Thanks for commenting on my blog, Send Chocolate, I appreciate the support.
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  22. What an excellent, frightful sound. I had to listen to it a dozen times. I'd like to echo what everyone else said: what terrific parenting you have done, and how intelligent your boy is. It seems to me that having the explanation, his ability to show awareness of his own motivators, would remove some of the frustrated response a parent might have to a shrieking child (I'm reflecting my own impatience here).
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