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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Consequences

I've been watching in awe over the past few days as the story about Alex Barton being voted out of his kindergarten class has spread from a small town paper and a few of my favorite blogs straight to the national news. (Update: Even Dr. Phil is getting in on the action.)

At issue for me when I decided to blog about it was my personal belief that all people deserve respect and compassion, and that no one, regardless of the reason, deserves to be a target of shame and humiliation. And certainly a five year old should not be shamed and humiliated by his teacher, of all people. A show of support for him and his family was appropriate, and given the lack of response by the school district or other authorities, action was necessary. And the media, combined with the blogosphere, provides a quick, efficient way to disseminate information and a call to action.

And yet, there's a kind of divine and terrible irony to the over-the-top torture of hanging the teacher out for judgment in the national news and having reporters stalk her home, regardless of what she did. Some may call that karma or just retribution, but I'm not personally a fan of an eye for an eye. (Well, definitely not since the 80's, when Ben Kingsley in a loin cloth told me that it makes the whole world blind.)

So, am I complicit in the public shaming of Wendy Portillo? The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach says probably so. Damn.

Bev and Marla have some excellent thoughts on this. My head is swimming with thoughts about the way we conduct our national dialog on important issues like this, but I've got to get back to my pre-trip laundry.
Posted by at 6:38 AM
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6 comments:

  1. vicariousrisingMay 28, 2008 01:47 PM
    I don't know if this quite accurrately conveys how I feel about this, but it relates to how I feel about privacy issues. People get all tied in knots about how much privacy we get from the government or Big Brother or whomever might be snooping on our private lives. While I prefer to be able to pick my nose in private and not have the whole world to see it, I generally conduct myself in a manner such that I can hold my head high (booger & all) if held out for scrutiny.

    On the other hand, if I am behaving like an ass, damn right I don't want anyone snooping. But as things are, people may not do things as I do them or agree with my ways, but in order to be shamed, I think I'd have to know I was behaving badly.
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  2. Mary P Jones (MPJ)May 28, 2008 02:59 PM
    Vicarious, you make an interesting point.

    That's something that never would have occurred to me, because I'm such an extreme perfectionist that I can actually feel ashamed without having done anything wrong.

    I'm the kid in school who was humiliated to get 99 out of 100 answers right on a test -- and who would never, ever forget the answer to that one missed question.

    All it takes to make me ashamed is to be less than perfect. If I am (which, hello, I'm human, so I nearly always am), I'll feel I should have been able to do better, and will feel humiliated and ashamed.

    I'm working on this, but shame is the first visceral emotion for me the moment I am less than perfect in any aspect of my life. And I suppose it's what I expect from other people as well. Hm...
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  3. I actually must be on another planet because I have no idea what story you are talking about. Now, I may have to go check it out for myself.
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  4. You did mention the teacher's name in your blog entry, but she was not the focus of your story. You used a story in the media that has a strong resonance for you to make a point about "society's particular brand of insanity" regarding kids with the sort of challenges that your own son faces in the school system. That is a far cry from saying that "Teacher Wendy is a lousy human being". Given the stupid thing she did in the classroom, it's clearly reasonable to question her teaching ability. And the larger impact of stupid reality tv in situations where it has no place.

    Seems legitimate to me.
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  5. Mary P Jones (MPJ)May 29, 2008 12:29 AM
    Lise, thanks. It's true, I don't think I said anything I'm directly ashamed of -- yet I'm still uncomfortable with the media environment in which this all took place. But I'll have to muse more on that another time.

    It's funny, because when I first wrote the Alex Barton post, I never mentioned the teacher's name at all -- that was my first inclination without giving it much thought. I added the name so that people could reference it in writing letters to the school.
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  6. The sad fact of the matter is that teachers are human - they take things personally sometimes as every HUMAN does - and this unfortunate incident - where the teacher was in charge to know and show right from wrong - is not the only incident out there like this - Specifically difficult students with other challenges get targeted - my son was targeted... and I was spitting mad about it and I made sure that everyone who had ears could hear what I had to say - the ugliness that was happening... by showing examples - over time - the teacher faced discipline and the school my son went to appropriately educated the teachers on appropriate responses.
    I was happy to stand up and voice my opinion on this subject via email - and I would do it again. I think - having been in a similar situation - it is impossible for me not to want to reach out and help or send an email. That is the least that I can do.
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