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Monday, May 26, 2008

Alex Barton

This weekend, Bev forwarded me a story about a little boy in Florida. Alex Barton is five, in kindergarten, and currently in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger's, a form of autism. Since then, the story has taken off around the blogosphere*, so I'm actually coming to the party late.

For those who aren't aware yet, Alex's teacher, Wendy Portillo, apparently became frustrated with his behavior and decided to discipline him. Her chosen method was to shame him, Survivor style, by having the other children in the class say what they didn't like about him and then vote on whether or not they wanted him in the class with them. The children called him "disgusting" and "annoying" and voted 14 to 2 to kick him out of the class.

Of course, the decision of a bunch of five year olds isn't binding on the school district, but needless to say, Alex hasn't wanted to return to class (if one can even call screaming at the sight of the school building "not wanting to go"), nor has his family wanted him to return. Ms. Portillo has admitted that the incident took place. And in the comments on the news story, to my surprise (though it shouldn't be), plenty of people back the teacher, whom they feel -- like the leader of a gang of righteous classroom vigilantes -- should be free to take the law into her hands and use any means at her disposal to punish the disruptive little criminals that populate our classrooms.

My thoughts on what this says about our society's own particular brand of insanity is, unfortunately, going to have to wait. But I do want to say this:

I salute the two children who voted to keep Alex in the class. It takes incredible courage to stand up in the face of an overwhelming majority and say that you simply don't agree. (Courage I don't even have as an adult most times.) I ache for Alex, who at 5, can't possible understand why someone who was supposed to care for him would want to hurt him like this. (Frankly, at almost 40, I don't either.) I ache for the classmates who were taught that bullying and shaming others is acceptable behavior. And I ache for Alex's family -- especially (as a mama) Alex's mother -- who have to witness his pain in the wake of this event. What mama is not going to cry to hear her baby say over and over again, in that nightmarish perseveration, "I'm not special. I'm not special. I'm not special."

But I'm also trying to feel compassion for the teacher and the school district, because it is one of my most deeply held beliefs that hatred, however just or righteous it may seem, is toxic. And genuine compassion, however hard to muster, is healing. I know how difficult it is to be a teacher and an administrator, because I've done both jobs. I also know how frustrating it can be to balance the needs of an autistic child with the needs of neurotypical children and adults, because I live that every day. And I know that using shame as a teaching technique is a learned behavior, so someone, somewhere taught Wendy Portillo to use this tool the way she taught her students. And that's a terrible thing.

Still, compassion (and this can be very hard for us codependents to understand) does NOT mean tolerating abuse. The teacher participated in and sanctioned bullying, cruelty, and abuse. And that's true regardless of how frustrated she was, how bad or just incomprehensible Alex's behavior might have been, how cash strapped the school district may have been, how unsupported she may have been, how lengthy and arduous the diagnosis and IEP planning process is, or what messages she received from her upbringing or the culture around her that this was ok.

If you are as heartbroken and horrified by this story as I am, you can voice your opinions to the St. Lucie County School Board. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is tracking the response and has asked that you cc them at info@autisticadvocacy.org if you do write. ASAN asks that everyone use respectful language in addressing those listed.

Morningside Elementary School Principal:
Mrs. Marcia Cully
cullym@stlucie.k12.fl.us
(772) 337-6730St.

Lucie County Schools Superintendent:
Michael J. Lannon
4204 Okeechobee Road
Ft. Pierce 34947-5414
Phone: 772/429-3925
FAX: 772/429-3916
e-mail: lannonm@stlucie.k12.fl.us

St. Lucie County School Board Chair:
Carol Hilson
772-519-0397
HilsonC@stlucie.k12.fl.us

Vice Chair:
Judith Miller
772-528-4545
MillerJ@stlucie.k12.fl.us

Update:

Updates on my blog:

In the news:

* Other blogs carrying stories on Alex Barton:

And discussion groups:

See, I told you all I was late to the party!

Update: additional posts I found after posting mine:
Posted by at 4:57 PM
Labels: , , ,

19 comments:

  1. hadn't heard about this ... shameful.
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  2. My heart aches thinking of that little boy who had to endure that. I, too, thought about the children who voted for him to stay - Good for them!

    My first reaction is to be angry at the teacher, but you are right. We need to look at all sides, and I know I would not want to be a teacher, trying to deal all the children - disruptive or not - in my class. Still, I imagine only someone who had never been ostracized herself would come up with something like that.
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  3. I am heart sick for that little boy and his mother. I am going to write. Thank you for sharing this. Cat
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  4. As a parent of an autistic kindergartner and 2 younger children, I am less likely to look on the side of the teacher. She is an adult, she has a responsiblity and honestly, I wouldn't want my typical children being exposed to her kind of teaching. She is teaching impressionable children, that it's not okay to be different. Aren't we all different? No, I don't have ANY compassion for the adult teacher. I know what kind of suffering that child is going through and will continue to go through because of this. It will leave him scarred forever. They don't forget things like that. What a way to start out the beginning of a long public education. shameful, preposterous, there aren't enough words to describe
    Kathy, Woodbury, MN
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  5. Mary P Jones (MPJ)May 27, 2008 03:48 AM
    Kathy, I completely agree that I do not have words for how terrible and deeply scarring that teacher's actions were.

    I've simply found that in my own life, my hatred does much less to hurt others than it does hurt me. It is part of my spiritual beliefs that compassion costs me nothing and gains me everything. Compassion doesn't mean I excuse the behavior. It doesn't mean I tolerate it. It doesn't mean I find it anything less than reprehensible.

    I can despise the teachers actions, I can cry for that boy and his family, and I can hold her completely accountable, yet still try to feel compassion for her as a fellow human, however terribly she has behaved.

    I know that not everyone shares this belief, but I do write about it, because it's what sustains me. I can completely sympathize with how little that seems to fit with feelings of outrage, although in my world it does.
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  6. Mary P Jones (MPJ)May 27, 2008 03:52 AM
    Ugh! Sorry, how terrible rude of me, Kathy. I completely failed to thank you for stopping by, and as I tried to add it, my browser crashed!

    Having restarted, I'll say: thank you so much for stopping by. And plse excuse my sleep deprived manners. ;)
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  7. Mary...thank you for your comment. I strive to be like that, but in the face of adversity, my instincts as a parent of an autistic child and my responsiblity given to me by the Greater Power, means that she knew I would be up to the challenges. A mother bear would kill to protect her cubs. It's natures instinct and I congratulate you on your calming demeanor...this isn't about hatred and I feel none towards her. I simply do not have compassion for ANY adult who brings harm upon a child, no matter what they have been through in life. Being an abused child and sexually abused teen AND physically abused adult along with battling breast cancer while having to raise my 3 young children, including one with autism, leaves no excuses for such behavior. Again, I am humbled by your attitude. But having the fighting spirit I do have, has helped me survive this long ;) Thank you!!! Kathy
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  8. In theory, I agree that I should have compassion for the teacher.

    In reality, I'm not finding it.

    Give me another day or two and maybe it'll surface.

    --Virginia, still fuming about an incredibly nasty e-mail from the pastor of my church's landlord church. People are so, so very interesting.
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  9. I nearly cried reading this post. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's outraged and heartbroken for this little boy. I hadn't heard this story before but I will be following it from now on as well as writing letters.

    *sigh* Our world is such a complicated place.
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  10. I heard about this story yesterday and it just breaks my heart. I too read the comments and couldn't believe how many sided on the teacher.

    I am a school board member in our school district and would have been appalled if this had happened in our school and would demand an immediate investigation.

    My heart and prayers go out to the family and hope that some justice is done!
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  11. When I read this story my heart broke for Alex, for his mom, for the children in the class that were also abused when the teacher encouraged them to vote whether or not Alex should remain in the class.

    I have been in touch with Melissa Barton and, I will continue to do so for you see, my sweet great-nephew Andrew (who turned 4 in February) is also being tested for Aspberger Syndrome. He is a precious child, a typical 4 year old boy with a heart of gold. He would never intentionally hurt anyone yet, I cringe to see what this society will do to him if not protected.

    The teacher needs to be stripped of her teaching credentials never to teach another child in these United States again. What scares me most is, how many more of her are out there in our public and private school sectors that we don't know about? How many bullies are out there getting away with things like this?

    When I read the state attorney general's office found no evidence of child abuse, I nearly lost my mind. What school did that moron graduate from? Does child abuse merely mean sexual or physical abuse only???

    It is time for Americans to stand up for what is right, protection of our nation and our children.

    Barbara
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  12. http://www.slate.com/id/2192480/entry/0/

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/05/30/earlyshow/living/parenting/main4140155.shtml

http://www.momlogic.com/2008/05/teachers_from_hell.php

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/may/30/michael-goforth-st-lucie-schools-hits-keep-comingg/

    http://thalunatic.blogspot.com/2008/05/kindergarten-teacher-humiliates-5-year.html
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  13. Here is what I am emailing to the addresses listed:

    To Whom It May Concern:

    I am writing to express my sadness and outrage concerning the abuse of Alex Barton, a five year old kindergarten student at Morningside Elementary School.

    I don't understand a lot about autism, but I know a thing or two about common decency and what Wendy Portillo did to Alex Barton was anything but decent. No child should be subjected to the kind of humiliation, shame and bullying that Ms. Portillo advocated and encouraged in her kindergarten class. If what she did doesn't meet the criteria for emotional abuse, I'd like to know what does, and perhaps the criteria needs to be changed.

    Not only was Ms. Portillo's behavior toward Alex unthinkable and cruel, she also set an extremely poor example for the other students by modeling and encouraging this type of hatefulness and bullying. I think she should apologize to Alex and his family, the other students and their families, and then issue an apology to the general public for her violation of human decency.

    If Ms. Portillo is ever allowed back inside a classroom, it should only be after extensive training and counseling relevant to the situation.

    Regards,
    [Lottie]

    I will also send a word of encouragement to Alex and his family. Then I will post Alex's story on my blog with a link to this post.

    Thank you for the all the contact information.
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  14. I found your website & have linked my post to it as yours contains lots of good links and info. I hope you don't mind! I try to find words to describe my emotions, my son is 18months old and has not been diagnosed with any type of disorder but to imagine the hurt and pain that he has had to endure at such a young age is sad. Hopefully, he will learn and gain strength from this and not be burdened. Reading Barbara's post, akk I can say is I agree 120% with what she said, I couldn't have said it better myself!
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  15. Oh, I suppose I could leave my blog as well...sorry for being so rude. Still distraught about little Alex Barton, it has taken me 4 days just to type my post for my website! www.cyberschrump.blogspot.com
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  16. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Jun 7, 2008 12:30 AM
    Thanks so much for visiting and linking, Jenn. I'll drop by and see your post myself as soon as I'm able.
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  17. How can a kindergarten teacher treat a 5 year old boy like that? As a man who has gotten the diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome in adult age, it’s just sad to read this story. One should remember that some of the greatest and most creative minds in human history have been people with variations of autism and/or bipolar disorder; Kim Peek (the man who inspired the movie “Rain Man”), Danish author Hans Christian Andersen, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (the man who wrote about Sherlock Holmes), George Orwell (”1984″ and “Animal Farm”), Ludwig van Beethoven, Mozart, Vincent van Gogh, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, James Joyce, Isaac Newton and Jonathan Swift.

    But sadly, the socalled “normal” people have a tendency to view those with original and unconventional ideas as oddities - despite many of them being centuries ahead of their time in music, art, science and literature.

    Kjetil, Norway
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  18. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Jun 20, 2008 12:22 PM
    Kjetil, thanks for visiting. It's true, differences enrich our world -- it's overcoming fear and misunderstanding of those differences that's the problem.
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  19. [...] awful. It wasn’t high drama, the kind of scenes that inspire justifiable outrage like the abuse Alex’s Barton’s teacher perpetrated, but it was damaging, the kind of subtle stuff I’m afraid happens a lot and [...]
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