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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Circles within Circles (or Understanding the Stars -- and Eliot Spitzer)

Three weeks ago, Eliot Spitzer was Governor of New York and the model of an upstanding citizen. Two weeks ago, he became embroiled in scandal and admitted to hiring prostitutes. The media was all over the story: less dissecting it, than tearing it apart like a school of piranha. It boiled up and died down, the bones picked clean, all within a week.

I spent the week of the Spitzer news frenzy busy with major events in my own household, and now that I finally have time to sit with the story, it's old news, gone from the collective consciousness. Eliot and Silda have now retired (one hopes) to their separate church basements to build something new and beautiful from the smoldering remains of their old lives. And the news media has moved on: first to the (gasp!) shocking idea that America has problems with racism and then to the (gasp!) surprising fact that soldiers continue to fight and die in Iraq.

Throughout every bit of coverage I heard of the Spitzer story, I wanted nothing more than to be the expert commentator on the news. I wanted to call in to every talk show and write to every newspaper. I wanted to chime in on discussions with acquaintances who don't know of my husband's addiction. I wanted to tell everyone how way, way, way off the mark they were in their analysis. I wanted to shake America and wake it up. My only comfort, if one could call it that, was the knowledge that there will always be other sex scandals. (And when the next one breaks, I'll just be able to change the names in this post and put it up again.)

Over and over again, I heard the same question I asked my husband when I (like the people in Eliot Spitzer's life) was knocked on my ass by revelations of his sexual exploits: Why? Why? Why?

Why would someone so smart do something so stupid? Why would someone who spent his life prosecuting just these kinds of criminals engage in criminal behavior himself? Why would he do something that would destroy his career and his marriage? Why was someone who seemed so doggedly true to his principles abandon them? Why?

Unfortunately for my husband, who hates this habit of mine, I'm going to use science as a metaphor yet again and coin my own term for the analysis of the Spitzer scandal: Ptolemaic. Thanks to a wonderful high school science teacher, I have a vivid (if limited) knowledge of the history of astronomy, which goes something like this: long ago, Ptolemy theorized that the Earth was the stationary center of the universe and that everything in the sky revolved around it in perfect circles. He, and others after him, observed the motion of the stars and found that some of the stars (planets) traveled in irregular paths across the sky, occasionally looping back on themselves. Unable to conceive of a universe in which the Earth was not the center or in which the planets traveled in anything other than perfect circles, Ptolemy created an incredibly complex model of celestial bodies traveling in circles within circles to explain their observed motion in the sky.

Later, Copernicus theorized that the Earth revolved around the Sun. His model explained the movements of the stars just as well as Ptolemy's but was much simpler. But Kepler perfected the model by proposing that planets travel in elliptical, rather than circular, orbits. Now with the Earth and the other planets in the solar system all traveling neatly around the Sun in elliptical orbits, all the complexities, all the circles within circles, disappeared: there was just one simple, elegant path for each object.

So as I watched all the speculation flying around Spitzer's behavior, I began feeling very much like Kepler to the news media's Ptolemy. There were countless convoluted attempts to answer the perpetual "why." There were the absurdly partisan (liberals are perverts); the stupidly misogynistic (Silda Spitzer is a frigid bitch); the simplistically moralistic (Eliot Spitzer is a corrupt hypocrite (read: bad person)); the underestimating excusers (all men do it -- or want to) who usually joined forces with the amateur philosophers (absolute power corrupts absolutely) to conclude, with Ptolemaic finesse, that Spitzer was just doing what all men want to do because he was powerful enough to think he could get away with it.

Admittedly, some of those folks (ahem, Liberals are Perverts, I'm talking to you!) seemed to be speculating about the stars without even glancing at the sky. Still, many of these theories, like Ptolemy's, did their job of explaining the observable data. Yet, also like Ptolemy's, they all had to keep adding circles to explain pieces here and there that didn't quite fit. Each theory would make sense until one considered some other bit of data. So that, in the end, they all ended up drawing circles within circles trying to explain the irregular movements of planet Spitzer.

Of course, there is a solution of Kepleresque elegance: Eliot Spitzer is a sex addict. He had sex with prostitutes, even though he knew it would destroy him, because he couldn't stop. Power didn't corrupt him, he was drawn to power to fill the same void he sought to fill with prostitutes. (I have no doubt that both compulsive sexual activity and a desire for power pre-dates his governorship -- and his marriage -- by decades.)

We've come a long way in the awareness of alcoholism. While it is still viewed at times as a moral failing or a failure of willpower, I don't think we'd be suffering the same sense of collective national confusion over Eliot Spitzer's actions if he'd given speeches drunk or passed out at a state dinner. We wouldn't ask the question, "Why would such a smart man do such a stupid thing? Why would he endanger his career by drinking so much?" New analysts wouldn't say, "Everyone wants to drink on the job, he was just powerful enough to think the rules didn't apply to him." We'd know he was an alcoholic, that his drinking was compulsive and and that he was unable to control it. And instead of endless analysis, we'd get education in the form of a token lecture on alcoholism by an Oprah-approved physician.

Yet we puzzle over Eliot Spitzer's sexual behavior, assuming that he could control it, but chose not to. We ask ourselves why he would choose not to and find we can't reconcile his private behavior with his public persona. We draw circles within circles to explain it, when the answer is much simpler, if only we give up the need for an Earth-centered universe filled with perfect circles or the image of Eliot Spitzer as a mentally healthy person making, and able to act on, rational choices.


I know this doesn't answer marta's question about how to identify an addict, but I promise I will get to that -- hopefully tomorrow!

16 comments:

  1. THanks for this take on the Spitzer craziness. To be honest, I wasn't wondering much why he did it. History is littered with foolish choices including our own. Maybe when I can figure out mine, I'll presume to figure out somebody else's. But I must admit I was wondering--what does a woman have to do to get that money per hour? For this question at least I can use my imagination.

    But I'm glad you haven't forgotten my question. I've been hoping you'd remember.
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  2. Sophie in the MoonlightMar 25, 2008 04:10 PM
    What a GR8 metaphor!!!

    I also wondered why nobody, NOBODY, brought up sex addiction. Nobody!?? Confounding.

    Much easier to just say hypocrite, or defective, or boy who got caught doing what boys do, or stupid husband. I'm a news junky and after a day of coverage I would just turn off the tv. My heart broke for his wife. Harvard educated, lovely, committed woman. (You've gotta be committed to be the spouse of a narcissistic politician.)

    I hope they each get the help and healing that they need. Revenge is a dish best served cold idea: that she, with all of her talent, brains, and experience, becomes president of the united states. Justice to the nth.
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  3. Oh mpj... the love affair begins anew. How aptly put, my friend.

    Now... we had a big(ish) debate at my home about the 'have to' of his wife's support. What is your take on this?

    While I understand (completely) that she would support her husband, do you think she really wanted to support him by standing beside him sooo quickly? I thought that it is a humilating and old tradition that she has to stand by her man, and thus a place of disrespect for her and women in general, in the eyes of manly politics anyways.

    I wanted her to (or at least of the choice to) break tradition and say, "I am hurt and pissed and will stand by you when I am ready."

    Is that so much to ask? Will you wax poetic on this for me?
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  4. Though I realize it might blow your whole "anonymous" this, I wish we were seeing you up there, offering this perspective, shedding some light.
    I'm tired of sexual addiction simply being referred to as "men are pigs".
    Thanks for bringing your voice to us here.
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  5. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Mar 26, 2008 12:35 AM
    Mantra, Yes! I've been meaning to write about Silda Spitzer anyway. You shall have your post. :)
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  6. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Mar 26, 2008 12:42 AM
    Bella, I may do a separate post at some point on the "men are pigs" thing. I find it unbelievably stupid and demeaning. It's sad that so many men not only put up with it, but buy into and endorse it.

    Women (feminists at least) are offended when they hear similar generalizations made about female behavior and sexuality. Where are (to coin a term) the masculinists? ;)
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  7. I think there was some reverend guy on Dr. Phil that squeaked in a couple hints that Spitzer is a sex addict. That was all I heard of it.

    Also, about the "men are pigs" thing...it may be, in reality, a stupid generalization, but it feels good to say it sometimes, doesn't it? I find myself going back and forth with the "my husband is a pig" thoughts and actually understanding his addiction. It's a difficult thing to accept, and I really have yet to accept it fully. So for now, men are pigs. Sorry.
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  8. Mary Ann (Moanna)Mar 26, 2008 03:52 AM
    See, I'm with Bella. The marketing person in me wants you out there filling the gap that exists.

    Also, I think the reason that informed people aren't talking about sex addiction is that there are gray areas. How to differentiate a sex addict from a person who does what they do because they enjoy it, want it, they're a player for fun, so to speak? This question is difficult to answer in the best of situations but more so in a sound bite.

    I just think you could do it and make a ton of money at the same time. Plus then we'd all be able to point to the t.v. and say "I know her!" :)
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  9. Don't you think after men get "caught" they claim they have a sexual addiction?
    There are a lot of men that have this form of addiction then. Its a cop out - Then they can tell their wives they need help, blah,blah, blah then the wives start buying into it themselves. Maybe he's just a pig and these women should move on?
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  10. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Mar 26, 2008 06:24 AM
    Anonymous, nope. I don't see it as an excuse or a cop out, although I realize that many people do. And I'm realizing I need to do a post on addiction as "excuse" -- thanks!
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  11. this was awesome as usual! i'm so glad to be having this online love affair with such a smarty pants!


    oh and btw, masculinists.... they're out there, but feminists call them misogynists! as you know, i'm an equalist. sure hard to keep it all straight!
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  12. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Mar 26, 2008 07:58 AM
    e, I love you -- and I swear, one of these days I think you're going to see feminism differently.

    I don't think anyone could call what I'd think of as a masculinist a misogynist. I think a masculinist and a feminist would want exactly the same thing: not to be limited by harmful stereotypes based on gender.

    I could probably say I'm an equalist too -- but you and I have vastly different perceptions of what's equal.
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  13. This was a great read - something I wondered about lately was - why - when men are elected by the people are they kicked from office for infidelity ... I know I know morally its wrong, but if it the person was voted in by hundreds... ahh I dunno -

    Anon - I do not think most men will admit to being a sex addict - Not if it is a real problem - I think much like any addiciton - it is something that has to reach the very bottom before they can face it... cat
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  14. Velvet VerbosityMar 26, 2008 02:26 PM
    There's so much to comment on here, from the actual post which was fecking brilliant, to the comments by readers, that all I can do is sit back and say, "whew!".

    Seriously, great post. I HAD to email this one to my SA. (I hate that acronym, but it's easy.)

    If I think of something more meaningful to say tomorrow morning, I'll be back. In the meantime, I sent you another test email.
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  15. vicariousrisingMar 28, 2008 08:01 AM
    Interesting and thoughtful theory on Spitzer, although I don't necessarily agree. As an alcoholic myself, I think it is maybe too simplistic to lay everything on the mental disease paradigm. I think the ability to get away with it was critical in what Spitzer did. Indeed, I have heard it argued that what brought Spitzer down was not his visiting prostitutes but rather his political bullheadedness that made him so many enemies that broke down his ability to hide his side entertainment from the public. He could have continued on if he hadn't pissed off too many people in politics on both sides. (not my opinion, just what I have heard suggested). To me, this sounds about as simple as human nature, or maybe business as usual in politics.
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  16. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Mar 28, 2008 08:37 AM
    Vicarious, I see his political bullheadedness as part of the addiction.

    Maybe you have a different take on this, my understanding is that addiction isn't just about the using -- it's a mental illness, a distorted way of seeing the world that includes the using.

    I've certainly seen my husband change in recovery from an Eliot Spitzer-like pursuit of "right" to a more nuanced view of the world.

    This may be worth another post too. Damn! So much good material, so little time.
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