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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

For Those of You Brave Enough...

Today is the 35th anniversary of Roe v. Wade and was also Blogging for Choice Day. I spent all of my allotted writing time and more working on a post for my more politically oriented joint blog with Jay, which you can check out, should you have the courage to dive into such turbulent waters. (Actually, it may not be what you think. I wasn't really able to dive in myself.)

I can't fully articulate why, but this day filled me with sadness. I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR today, and they were doing a piece on abortion and how closeted and secret it is. One of the guests pointed out that there is no open grieving for abortion. One is only supposed to feel shame or guilt, and one is supposed to deserve whatever one gets.

I don't feel shame or guilt over my own choice to terminate a pregnancy. I know I did the right thing for myself and my family. I know I didn't violate my own ethical or moral beliefs. But I do still feel loss and grief, and I grieve, for the most part, in silence. I wish my decision were simply personal. I wish I could share it honestly without fear of judgment or of politicization from either side. But I guess that's asking a lot of the human race, since I'm not always capable of those things myself.

8 comments:

  1. Danielle Blogging for BalanceJan 22, 2008 09:35 PM
    How dare you for 'challenging' me to go beyond talking about myself on my blog and treading into the 'controversial' waters of pro-choice. (written tongue in cheek ;) ya know)I may have to even share my personal experience with this....darn you MJ!!

    I have a client this morning but I will be back at my 'place' .... blogging for choice.
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  2. Thank You MPJ, for going where most would never tread. I to have no regrets for the abortion I had the year after I put my first born up for adoption. That, I still to this day feel regret. But me, at 18 and a full blown drug addict, had no business having children. Being young and stupid would not have helped either child. My 37 year old daughter is always on my mind as I know I am on hers. Such is fate.
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  3. You are brave to tackle such issues. I have always remained pro-choice mostly for the simple fact that I want abortion to remain safe for women. I really think it would continue even if it were made illegal.
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  4. Thank you for going here, for speaking what so many fear.
    as you know, I'm a doula for women giving birth.
    I am also a doula for those having an abortion.
    whatever choice a woman makes, she deserves to not just be respected, but to be cared for, to have another bear witness to her passage and hold the space for her.
    terminating a pregnancy is a choice and one that often brings grief.
    to be a presence for women processing her grief is an honor, as is being present for the woman in childbirth.
    it is all connected.
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  5. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Jan 23, 2008 01:50 PM
    I wish I had had a Bella there for me a few years ago, but at least I have a Bella here for me now. Thank you.
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  6. Stagnant ArtistJan 23, 2008 01:58 PM
    I am glad you said that it should be open and not shameful. I know when i had mine, back in my jr year of college, I knew i made the right decision and felt a tremendous weight off my shoulders. I actually felt really good, unlike the uber bad and sick feelings i had prior. I knew it was the right thing and made me not resent the decision i made. But think, if men had the ability to give birth, that choice right would never ever be questioned.
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  7. Mary P Jones (MPJ)Jan 23, 2008 02:07 PM
    Stagnant Artist, I felt that way too: like a weight was lifted. It felt right. I also think that you're right that if men went through pregnancy and childbirth, there probably wouldn't be much of a debate.
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  8. And if men menstrated, masculine hygine would be free!

    I am a little sad that I missed this one. I would have like to have said a little something on the matter.
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