This year, there will be no resolutions, no disappointments over broken promises to myself. This year, I am picking a word: a word that expresses my intention, my desire, my focus for this year.This year's word (does that big smiley face give it away?): HAPPINESS.
Yep, it's that simple (and difficult). I thought about lots of other words: rest, kindness, patience, acceptance, serenity. But most of them seemed (deceptively, I know) like a lot more work than happiness. (Well, except for rest, which seemed dangerous if taken to an extreme. I'm not ready for the ultimate rest yet.) And between becoming a parent, fighting to get my son what he needs and coping with sex addiction in my marriage, I'm pretty tired of the constant effort the past seven or eight years have demanded.
I'm ready for happiness. Happiness hasn't been my word for years and years now and I miss it. The best I've gotten in recent years are "growth" and "challenge," but on balance the words have tended more to things like "drama," "pain," "depression," "despair," and "exhaustion." (Mantra suggested picking a word for the past year and I think my word for 2007 has been: "extremes.") I want a pleasant happy year for a change.
Now I know the coming year is going to have more of those other words mixed in; there are some bad things already looming there on my calendar, events neatly scheduled in advance for the attempted annihilation my good spirits. I know I haven't seen my last use of R's term, AFGO (Another Fucking Growth Opportunity). But I also know that the way I face these things is up to me, and I want to face it all with a smile this year. I want to laugh in the face of years past. I want to stop fighting the tide and just ride the waves instead.
So, here's to happiness, and from me to you, a very sincerely meant: HAPPY New Year!
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