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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My Random Act of Kindness

A few weeks ago Mantra tagged me with the task of performing a random act of kindness, and it has been surprisingly difficult. Of course, this is not because I'm not the type to do kind things, quite the opposite...

Animal shelter employee? Yep, you. You got a call from a woman looking to find someone to take care of a baby squirrel (or bird, I do those too) that had fallen out of its nest. Well, I was the one who called and then brought that squirrel in wrapped warmly in a dishtowel. And homeless guy, the one who approached a woman for change and was handed a hot vegetarian dinner for your trouble? Um, the woman handing you that meal was me. And homeless guy who was hanging out outside the grocery store? I'm the one who took the healthy snacks I bought for my kids out of my grocery bag and gave them to you instead. And, you, lady with two children under age 3 at the airport? I'm the one who took your bags off the carousel, loaded them onto a cart and helped you find ground transportation. And old bag lady who was going through my trash? All I can say is: I'm sorry I didn't get back out with your sandwich before you left.

So, that's me. I'm Ms. Act of Kindness USA. That's just how heathen liberal hippies like me roll.

But when Mantra tagged me, giving the example of buying coffee for the person behind her in the drive-thru, I thought, "What am I going to do?" My acts of kindness are rarely planned but they aren't exactly random; they're targeted at those I perceive to be needy and deserving. I don't help (and even actively thwart when I can) people who drive BMW's. I'm much more likely to help you if you are poor or female or non-white or a non-native English speaker. And, of course, my mind started spinning on how I could use this tag to help one of the kinds of people I'm naturally inclined to help anyway. When I realized this, I stopped myself and decided that this time I was going to plan an act of kindness, rather than waiting for a spontaneous moment to drop into my lap, and I was not going to limit my semi-random selection of a target to those most in need.

Tonight, I decided I was going to buy a grocery gift card and put it on whatever vehicle happened to be parked closest to me on the left when I exited the store. I wasn't going to look for the crappiest car in the lot or check for a baby seat or any of the things I was inclined to do. I was going to let the luck of the parking lot decide. And if it was a BMW, well, so be it. I'd view it as some sort of penance to them for all the times I've driven slowly in front of BMWs on purpose and laughed. I decided to do it secretly and anonymously: no chance for the good feeling of being thanked or the awkward one of being turned down. (Although I have to admit, it made me feel much more creepy and guilty and stalker-like than my typical act of goodwill.)

So, guy in a white pickup truck, I hope you were able to get yourself a little treat, or a little something you needed. I was kind of hoping you were the store manager, because wow, did he look like he was having a rough night. But whether or no, peace on earth, goodwill toward pickup trucks and all that to you! Enjoy. And from now on I think I'll just stick to feeding addicts and taking care of children and animals; it's what I do best.

Finally, to all of you who are reading this, if Mantra didn't get to you first, consider yourself tagged. Go do something kind, something you wouldn't do otherwise for someone you wouldn't otherwise do it for. And tell me about it. I'd love to hear how you spread the love.

8 comments:

  1. Wow... that was a rather odd, yet nice thing to do.

    You should have stuck around... hiding somewhere, just to see the face on the guy as he found the gift card. At least give you some satisfaction...

    ...unless it turned out the owner of that white pick-up truck turned out to be a high-school crush who stood you up at the drive-in theater!
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  2. Danielle Blogging for BalanceDec 18, 2007 10:08 PM
    I love the thought of giving and receiving a grocery gift card.....everyone could use of those ;)

    The Bipolar Diaries
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  3. Sunshine MorningstarDec 19, 2007 12:15 AM
    I'm like you, more likely to help those who look like they really need it (minorities, frazzled women out with kids, etc). I also don't plan what I do, for instance, carrying groceries to vehicles, giving out random quarters for pay phones, giving out random change for the bus, etc. This will take some thinking...though one thing's for certain, I won't be doing anything nice today (for strangers) because I'm staying in my pajamas and not even going to look out the window, let alone leave the house! haha
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  4. I loved this post. I loved how the random element made it be about what you get out of it rather than how the person is helped. That was really interesting.

    When I was a kid, I used to fantasise about having enough money to go around putting folder up fifty pound notes (hundred dollar bills) in the place where the change falls down in a phone box. Perhaps I'll manage a fiver (ten dollars) this weekend...
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  5. i'm with you with the acts of kindness towards people less fortunate than you or those that may need your help at the moment (the woman at the airport for example). i am the same. animals? don't even get me started. i don't have the heart or the willpower to turn my back on an animal in need.

    however, this other type of random kindness? i can't necessarily say i'd do that.

    but i have a better one that i practice all the time. how about those people you meet when you are in the supermarket or department store that have such a lovely attitude that you just want to choke them? my random act of kindness? i always smile and sweetly tell them to have a nice day (i actually find this gets them even more heated because they can't rattle you and i smile in victory). yes, my own random act of kindness....a little backhanded i admit, but i was kind nonetheless!
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  6. YaY! I hope is was fun- even if in some twisted way.
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  7. Sophie in the MoonlightDec 19, 2007 04:57 PM
    I live in the dark, rainy Pacific Northwest. I cannot possibly emphasize HOW dark and rainy it is just before the winter solstice. This afternoon I drove to the bookstore with my son for last minute holiday stuff. As we got off the highway it started to squall freezing rain. We were on a main road, but of the auto mall variety, and I saw a woman with three kids under the age of ten at a bus stop just getting dumped on by this frenzy. The bus stop was just a post; it didn't have a shelter, and as I passed I could see the rivers of cold precipitation on her face. I felt horrible for her. She looked like me having a bad day. So I went around the block, came back to the stop, and grabbed my little black umbrella and my older son's SpongeBob umbrella. I opened them up, ran over and handed her the black one and the other one to one of her boys. She said thanks and maybe something else, but I was running back to my car to get dry too. I just hope that her kids share the SpongeBob umbrella, cuz' that is the story I'm telling my son.
    However, the good karma that I had going on here might have been obliterated by scaring the crap out of woman who came into the middle lane the same time I did. I'm not sure who had the right of way, but I am willing to be wrong. And I'm sorry if I was.

    Merry Christmas, Mary and All!!!
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  8. That was an awesome random act! What a great idea. I might have to steal it....

    I just got caught up on your blog finally and I have to say I loved loved loved your letters. I think I'll have to try my hand at that one.
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